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Stay focused in the middle of the Storm

Stay focused in the middle of the storm

I made a decision and choose for my health and long life
and what it did for me, was to bring out my indifferent one
Who has been hiding for such a long time behind the paper walls.
Where did you started to react like this,
Where did you were conceived and birthed out in the open?
Giving a voice to feelings that are mostly consisting
out of proud and shame, out of feelings of being misunderstood
and left alone.
Indifferent part of me, that can say: just leave, why should you stay,
Just go, I don’t need this crab and pain. 
Whatever that triggers this part of me, you were just laughing
about something I just did and told you about and that was enough
to bring forth this wounded and angry indifferent one,
She can say I don’t care anymore, and not from boredom or anger,
It’s more from a place where I once said
it’s enough, I don’t want this anymore. Just leave me be, leave me alone.
And yet all I wanted was to be heard, to be acknowledged, to be comforted
and being told that whatever I do, you are sticking right there with me.
I AM on your side, I am not going anywhere no matter what.
You can project this game on anyone outside yourself that is important 
to you, for me, that is always the trigger to bring it forth, dependent
feelings and being misunderstood or even laughed at that ignites this spark.
No it isn’t abundance that lights up; it’s the lashing out, destructive part within 
that comes to the foreground on stage,
No longer hidden in the coulisses, waiting for her queue to appear.
You have to go deep to the bottom of your own well, hit rock bottom
and while you’re present there this one shows up, uninvited,
What the fuck feelings that arise and are being said as well.
To tear apart all the layers of behaviorism
and bring it forth, for all to witness the bitterness and the iciness,
almost disgust about what might happen.
So today I want to celebrate the out coming once and for all
of my Ice-queen self – the queen of the mirror of the bare land –
missing out on the fruitful and blossoming view beyond the mirror 
and its surface.
Just re-connected again with my loving center, 
holding you in the center of the storm,
to witness with love, so you can come Home also,
in your own time and space, and be assured -
now would be a good time, in loving connection
it will be done.

Heartfelt Messages
Rhea Dopmeijer ©

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