Holidays, family gatherings or solitude
Over the years my experiences with holidays has changed a lot. It was at first our family trips together with the children. When they grew older and time passed, they went their own way. We went together 3 times a year on a holiday to our favorite place.
Visiting our favorite countryside, in the north of France. We always felt like coming home, the moment we crossed the border on our way towards our camping side. Always a sense of loss, when we had to return home again. For home was also there for such a long time.
Many times, we spend our holidays together, also the Christmas holidays. This all changed almost 4 years ago, when I wasn’t accompanied any longer by my beloved. Our last holiday together was in August 2015. Returning to the place we both held so close to our hearts, bringing part of his ashes home in France as well.
The last final trip he made was with his son to the States, taking part of his ashes with him to be released in a lake close to San Antonio. A wish granted for his dad, to visit one more time Texas. That holiday was my first summer holiday on my own, in solitude, in 2016 after he made his transition.
For the first time, holiday wasn’t a happy family time. Everyone was gone on holiday, in summertime. Family and friends, as well our children. To me it was the hardest holiday I had ever experienced. Not feeling connected, no babysitting or anything else with the grand kids for a couple a week.
The only company I had, were my own white shepherd and the husky lady of our son, who stayed with me. They kept me going, they made sure I got out, they showered me with their unconditional love. They pulled me through a difficult time, spending in solitude.
To me solitude was not something negative, I had been on my own during daytime when I got ill. Everyone was going to work at that time, had their passion and hobbies, and to me it was my safe space. Yet this time my solitude didn’t felt comfortable. Nor easy for that matter, it made me realize I was on my own, needed to rely on myself.
Missing my beloved even more, because this was the first time I didn’t had to plan and organize our holiday trip to France. It was a confronting period this holiday time that year. It changed over time, although these summer holidays are the most challenging time for so many people.
It changed over time when my sense of solitude became more relaxed, instead of triggered and colored by emotions. My inner space became more and more my inner sanctuary, a safe space where I was home. A place I could be at ease in my solitude.
Solitude carries the sense that you’re enjoying being alone by choice. For most people this will be appreciated by own choice, taking a time out from the business of their life. Solitude enhances creativity. No distraction or diversion in solitude. but in a busy life, like that of ours, solitude is becoming things of the past.
Solitude is good for right thinking people, but for others, it may have equally adverse effect. it is the individual’s lifestyle, approach and attitude that decide, whether it is good or bad:• Solitude frees the mind up from all the distractions of everyday life and allows it to focus more fully on one thing.
It allows your brain to think outside the box and to come up with unique, extraordinary solutions to ordinary problems. Alone time increases empathy. • Solitude increases productivity. • Solitude sparks creativity. • Being alone can help you build mental strength. • Solitude may reduce behavior problems in kids. • Being alone gives you an opportunity to plan your life. • Solitude helps you know yourself.
Solitude is the state of being alone without being lonely. It is a positive and constructive state of engagement with oneself. Solitude is desirable, a state of being alone where you provide yourself wonderful and sufficient company.
Albert Einstein once said “I take time to go for long walks on the beach so that I can listen to what is going on inside my head. If my work isn’t going well, I lie down in the middle of a workday and gaze at the ceiling while I listen and visualize what goes on in my imagination.”
I feel we all are going through phases, accordingly with the journey our life leads us up to. I do believe holidays are a difficult period for those, who are not able to go on holiday. Either through limitations, either through personal circumstances.
Then it is becoming a period of loneliness, which is the opposite of solitude. It also depends on character, upbringing, social and personal life, how we experience times of solitude. It was also a challenge, how to deal and handle the emotions that were brought up initially. Now we can use a challenge as a tool to bring in balance within, or we can ignore it, just feeling bad and don’t know what to do about it.
For me it was a challenge to be happy and balanced within, during times I must be on my own more, in solitude, instead of feeling alone. I already know that I can feel alone within a big group of people, as well happy to be on my own. Cherishing my solitude, in balance with the periods of being more part of the day to day life.
Even in those days, solitude is my friend and companion. Allowing me to reach deep within the emotional turmoil. To go through the triggers and find the core issues so to speak, in order to heal and balance out what needs to be addressed.
I embrace my solitude, as well the family gatherings I have during my holiday. It also enables me to stay balanced, as well taking some time to stop and step back. Finding this balance is the greatest gift, because it brings up quality time with yourself.
To take time for long walks in nature, along the beach, on your own. To create a hobby which you feel connected with through your passion, like art, making music, or writing. To me, writing has been my greatest gift, during holidays, as well in solitude. Knowing I am never alone.
So, it is
High Self @RheaDopmeijer ©
Heartfelt Messages October 21, 2019