Big Ole' F

[Paul Lange]

A failure, that's how I felt waking up from a nightmare last night. The 'F' could stand for fear as well.

In the dream I was having a phone interview and the person on the other end didn't seem to know what they were talking about, and I took control of the interview by becoming the interviewer. There were long pauses and during those pauses, I could hear talking in the background.

My daughter had been with me, but I hadn't been paying attention to where she was during my phone call, and it sounded like people were telling her what to do in the background of my call. It didn't sound good, like she was in danger.

I put down the call and headed for an office, where I thought she was, and as I was approaching to knock down the door to rescue her, she came out of the room and then a guy followed her down the hallway. There were spots of blood on the floor where they walked.

I pursued this guy who was now running away from me, but I followed him in to an area where he was cornered. It wasn't anyone I knew, and it was like he was phasing in and out, and rocking left and right like a caged animal or something. Fear was definitely in the air.

I didn't have any compassion for him. I wanted to destroy him for whatever had happened with my daughter.

I started feeling like I was being psychically attacked at that point, I brought in the Violet Flame and asked for help, and I then did destroy him. Not with a weapon or anything like that. I just projected energy that made him explode. Then I made the office he came out of, which had others in it, explode as well.

I then started to wake up from the dream. I felt like I had failed the test. I didn't solve the problem with love and compassion, I simply destroyed them.

I was still in the dream world, and just stood there feeling very dark. I slowly started turning white and became like an angelic marble statue. My daughter came to my side and became a deep blue statue next to me. We were completely still, and it was like we were being healed and purged of this darkness.

After what seemed like a pretty long time, I started to soften from that hard marble rigidity. Energy started flowing again and I further woke up from the dream and came back to my normal senses. Now I applied the Violet Flame to everything around me, and surrounded myself with my guides.

Later on this morning I asked Archangel Michael if I had failed the test.

AA Michael: "It wasn't a test, it was your deep fears of your daughter being hurt, and not being able to do anything about it, and being a failed parent. Many have this fear, but as you've been hearing lately, it's time to let that fear go. Let her be free to grow and make her own choices working her way through being a teen. Besides, it was a dream, don't be so hard on yourself."

That made me feel better about it, and he is right that my biggest fear when I became a father was that something would happen to her.

I guess I better heed this guidance and let it go.