(sorry this is so late to post, my computer has been on the fritz and I have been on the move)
I started out very young when I discovered the word "why" and how you can keep asking it and never reach an end. So, still in a crib, I told my best friend, Arch Angel Michael, "if I ever get to the point where there are no more 'whys' to answer, I promise I will fix this world." Well, I now stand in that place. I am not going to try and recount how I got here, you would have to have lived the amazing tribulation-filled life that I have and there is not enough room in cyberspace to recount that story.
I will give you a recount of where I have been in the last week. It started with this thought.
Walk each day, every moment, every step or action or word with an understanding of the connection to all things. Now this statement is true, but problematic in conveying what it sets out to convey. First, what is the connection to all things? To understand you MUST pay attention to every detail of everything in your life. This is why there is so much strife in the world, because mankind lives in a way that distracts from the ability to pay attention to those seemingly mundane and tiny things that happen and interact with us on a daily level. If only you could see through my eyes on this one. The view of all the souls and how their auras stretch out to and repel one another. It is not in colors, but all colors. It is the purest of white light that extends between every living thing on this planet. It extends from the branches of the trees to birds and squirrels and grasses and water particles in the sky and you and everything else. The intensity of the light is complete Luminesse (don't have a human word for that one, take it as it sounds and what kind of picture of light is gives you in feel) when someone is in touch with Spirit in all things, as the connection lessons and is distracted by things of man, the light dims until the side of greed takes over and turns the light dark and opposite polarity. All these things that mankind has made for the fairy tale of money have the polarities off balance, this affects all of you and it affects all the planet. Greed has infected the world and the vaccine is you seeing the truth. The truth that everything you see that is counted as entertainment is strung together to keep your greed addiction going. That is that is the only purpose for entertainment anymore. People forget that it wasn't long ago when actors and actresses were considered the same status as prostitutes. Those who make their living off of acting are really nothing more than prostitutes of lies. Why do people idolize them and put them on pedestals? Yet the ones who understand life are seen as crackpots and nothings. Mankind's understanding of what truth is and where to find it has been warped by advertising agencies. I know this kind of rambles and I am not sure how much you can understand, but I am trying to find the perfect words to describe this giant collage of images and feelings and possibilities I see before me. For now, this is a start and we will see where it goes from here. Human words are just so inadequate, no wonder you fight.
Then there was this thought.
I realized today teh extent of which I have been weaving things for the last 44 years. Consider it the most intricately detailed rug ever woven. I have been doing this all my life. This has always been and always will be my purpose. I wish I could find words to describe how the energy ties and is changed. The point is, your walk through life has effects on everything you do. At one time, people lived simply and could see the connections. You have simply lost the draw to understanding this part of spirituality, yet it is this part for which you should strive. You should be learning how to see the character in every natural thing; from the smallest insect and microbe; to the tallest tree and mountain rock; to the living, breathing waters; to the planets, galaxies and suns and all in between. It is there you will find the connection. Everything talks on a Divine level, you just have to learn to see it.
Then, as I was riding around the back roads with my husband, it hit me.
I am really pushing the limits of sanity lately. I have been here before, but not like this. I stood for a moment in a place where all of everything was only visible by the Divine Light emitted by everything and the Divine Dark as well. It was the place of base energy of all. It was so incredible, but so much intensity. I am not sure if I want to go there, just yet. Just one second, one very clear second of this place was enough overwhelming that I am still having trouble adjusting to what I saw. There are really just no words. Understand that power comes from overstanding. The more you overstand, the greater the power you weild. It is not something that can be granted or shortcut around, it has to come from a life of one rule. Strive to understand everythings connection on a level that you can convey successfully to others.
So now I am in a place where I have seen the ultimate alignment of One through every single level of existence. It is just all One. The trick is finding that center. I crossed it yesterday and the beauty is indescribible. White Light with Dark balance in perfection all as one, the center. It isn't about within or without or up or down or provable, it is only about finding your center. And since only one thing can occupy space at a time, everyone's center is different. But at that center is how all are connected. It isn't like you would think, not some abstract point of view, just pure energy all in a perfect line through this universe, into the multiverse and for the first time I saw the place where all of Divinity, the Source of all Sources, the apex, the one point where everything converges, the heart of all Divine energy. I saw a glimpse of the rest of the being that is run by that heart. So big, and yet not so big, just One.
Experiences are threads to lines of energy. You should have just enough knowledge about everything as to leave a thread in case something wants to weave an end. Pieces that give you places to go when you need a tangent. Everything is the same in some way, when in doubt, just see it as something else that you can understand. Life is a series of on/off switches. Each experience begins a circle, a 1 or on. As life progresses and you complete circles, you create an 0 or off. You are always running a binary program in life. The trick is recognizing the completion of circles so you can turn off switches and change the program.
So here I sit chasing the gymbol lock, the center. I caught it for a split second the other day, but was not ready for the intensity of what it's like to let go so I backed off. Now steady, I wait til it comes back again. It is not easy to line everything up to see the center, but hopefully by Ostara I can find it again and fall into gymbol lock. I can see it when I close my eyes, so beautiful.
Then I went to sleep. I found it again right after I lay down. I was listening to some music to judge the flow of power in the universe ( I know it sounds insane, but that was where my thoughts were. It is something I have always done. By listening to certain songs that have very specific meanings and connections I can judge the state of things. It's how I calibrate.
Anyway, so I found the gymbol point again and went ahead and fell into gymbol lock. I saw it all, am still seeing it, feeling it. It is so difficult to find the words and frankly I have just destroyed all previous definitions of the word reality, so I am having some issues staying in this one. I will try to start here where it is most clear. Picture all the colors in existence, all frequencies of sound, all the feeling that can be felt flowing in a collective, cognizant light. It flows infinitely but also shares this infinite space with Dark light, vacuum, the Light flows back and forth through a circuitry of light, thought energy, back and forth through the shadow that separates destinations. This isn't what the universe is in, this is what the multiverse is in, the all of everything, the center. Now I realized there was a problem because this still left me with a sense of "not the last end of things" because what I see looks like a dividing cell only the outer rim through the center is light and the stuff in between is the dark. That's when I saw what the meaning of infinite is. It looks like a cell dividing because it is a cell dividing. A cell of light, a cell that hold all of creation and that cell is splitting everywhere and every measure that you can give. It has no borders because once you cross from a view of it being this huge infinite space to the realization that that huge space is also the tiniest space because creation just keeps moving, it is you who give things measure to be seen as big or small. There is no such thing as big or small. It is all perception. Which now leaves me at the thought that there still must be purpose, for if there were no purpose, there would not be a possibility of thinking about purpose. Since that means if the purpose is just "to be", then what exactly is meant by "be". So that is where I stand, perched dangerously on gymbol lock.
So I let go and fell into gymbol lock. You know you here people explain how everything is one and they use the word infinite, but it isn't until you see the infinite cell that you truly understand everything. I call it the infinite cell, because the Center, the all of everything, is just a cell always on the verge of splitting. From this point of view, you cannot even make out the microdot that is this universe and frankly the multiverse seems small as well because it all is small. There is no measurement. If I were to follow this to the other end, which I have already done, it just leads to any cell in the unvierse. It could be you or a tree or a bit of cosmic energy, it doesn't matter, the whole thing just wraps in and around and through, never ending.
So now I remember how Creating works, it has just been a long time in this form to find this memory. So much is lost today on unimportant things. Please realize that the only purpose of existence is to be. I know that sounds so simple and frankly a bit boring, but that is because people don't understand what it means.
To be is to have this cognizant reality among other to keep discord and chaos flowing through the infinite cell so that it remains in Motion. That is really all there is. So by spending your time on making gadgets and measuring things on a scientific level and having careers and money, you rob yourself of the true purpose. You just need to find your happy again. And it lies outside of the world of man. It lies in the world of Divine Creation and here are all of you destroying it and cluttering My beautiful Chaos with rigid order. No worries, I will fix that. I have already started and since being where I am means that I no longer sleep, but just return to the reality of the infinite cell while this body rests, it isn't like I am working on anything else. I made a promise and I am finally where I can keep it.