How communication can lead to discussion or dialogue
When we are connecting with each other, communication will be key element in the way we are able to hear and listen, to read between the lines, or to sense the message beneath the words that are spoken, or written for that matter. It takes a lot of self-knowing to understand the process when the communication seems to be full of judgement, or projection.
The way we are addressing the topics of our day to day business, is always colored by our own perceptions. It is also colored by the upbringing and the rules we were raised with. There are many cultures and societies where obedience is the rule. Not to verbalize or speak up, against the way the parents are setting their rules.
I believe that this is a red thread so to speak through our division between feminine as well masculine energies. Abuse isn’t just about women, it is about men as well. The way we are being raised is an important factor in the way we are able to perceive ourselves. There is also this time frame, about parenting in the period of the 50ies and 60ies.
Specific in the western world, where the two major World Wars were dominating the way the role between men and women were dictated. Not just through society, through religion as well. The strict way this was perceived has been responsible for many traumas, emotional, physical as well mental. The roles of men and women were shifting through the 70ies, when women were fighting for their rights, the feminist was born.
Yet the way power was being treated within the relationships of families and relatives is a universal given. The duality is part of the division and the way how this was brought into the way we learned to perceive ourselves as well. Now communication is a tool which is always colored by our own perceptions. As does the way we choose our words and language to speak up our mind as well.
If we haven’t learned it is safe to speak up ones mind, it is more difficult to trust your own inner gut feelings. If they were denied from the start, how to find the way in trusting the words from others as well. It is also about the way how actions will support the words, or not. Because we can speak up our minds, yet if this isn’t supported by our actions, then it will lead to mistrust.
So, what makes communication transparent and honest? How can we communicate with each other freely so we can come to an understanding as well agreement. Or at least, to agree we don’t agree with each other, just because there is this genuine trust in the relationship. I can speak only of what I feel or sense as a reaction to the way it will be told or shared with me. If this comes from a place of telling me the truth, I have this allergic reaction within immediately against the energy that comes with it. Now you can tell me how you see or perceive things as your truth.
Yet, this doesn’t mean it is true for me. Or the other way around for that matter. And what is good for you, will not necessarily be good for me as well. So this will create the space for alignment and agreement, if we speak our mind and heart feelings from our own perspective. In order to leave it for the receiving party to be free to go with the information or feelings, as well to react from their own way of perspective.
Communication is a wonderful and precious tool, if it is coming from a place of love, understanding, compassion as well kindness. If the words are harsh or dominating the conversation, we all know the results. This is a macro- micro way of communication. The universal law so to speak we all learn one way or the other. We can observe it through our own family patterns, our friendships, relationships as well on the world stage.
How communication can dominate an entire country, as well creating a very negative outcome. This is not much different in our own relationships with each other. If you are coming from an abused relationship with parents, or partners, this will be a difficult lesson to learn. Because it is always connected with fear and dominance.
Not through love and care, open relationship with parents in understanding and the freedom to speak up your mind. Encouraged even to do so, not always to be seeing it the same way, yet respect for each other. This way creating a safe space where the communication can flow and issues can be addressed in a loving way.
Words are energy as well the way we put them in a sentence. They will always reflect or trigger the person you want to bring your message across. For me it is about being open and clear about the way I perceive things from my perspective. Creating an open dialogue so to speak, where there is space to share and learn. Because we can always learn from each other.
Only with an open mind we will be able to learn through the ways our emotional and mental lessons are being colored by our experiences. In order to understand we need to have an open mind otherwise we won’t be able to hear the emotions that are hidden at times in the way the message is addressed. Through the ears and eyes of a loving heart, we are able to communicate and establish agreement.
Communication starts within, it starts within the way we are been triggered and how we tend to react or respond. If this is coming from a place of fear, the way we think we are not being heard or understood, will create disagreement. The duality that lies within each of us, is part of our inner communication. Healing or bringing in balance between the reactions and actions are part of the way we communicate with ourselves.
So for me, all I can do is listen, within my own inner space. My reactions that are been triggered mean there is still something that needs my attention and wants to be addressed. Denying is creating even more disagreement, even within. So in order to create agreement through communication, the key element will be Love. Love and care for oneself, will always reflect the way we are addressing the other one as well.
High Self @RheaDopmeijer ©
Heartfelt Messages 6-6-2018