5 major steps to address in the healing process: the 5 A’s
– Admitting – Acknowledgement – Address – Allowing – Acceptance –
Going through this proces of healing there are four essential elements, to proceed this journey step by step. In order for you to be able to release any emotional wound, past and present. As well in order to heal your future as well. For the present part is the most important time to deal with any lingering residue that prevents you from being healthy and whole as well truly heartfelt connected within your self as well your surroundings, partner, family and friends. In order to keep it simple the easiest way is to watch and observe what kind of emotions stir up in the immediate presence of your relationships. They will always provide you with a mirror view, no doubt cause they are the closest to your heart.
If not, then there are many issues to address to no doubt. Our own family, the way we are being raised and the aspects we want or need to heal, are the most significant and important parts of your personality and ego. We all know when have our own personality, sometimes it is easier to be yourself, other times it is not.
When the pain and hurt are connected with denial by those who were responsible in your upbringing, the essence of your own unique being is being wounded and causes a different type of behavior. Most of the time, this isn’t the natural and positive you other wise would have shown. We as humans reflect and mirror ourselves to the exterior world, we normally are not taught to live from within our selves.
So at a certain point in time, there might be this need to express yourself in a matter of way that feels more natural to begin with. All the suppressed energy blockages caused by trauma or denial, are looking for a way to be healed and cleared. What better way is there then through release. Well you might say this is easier said then done, and most of the time it actually is. Because we tend to block the emotions that come with the trauma, we are trying to tackle the issue by the mind and thinking. Only to come to the conclusion it doesn’t change that much on the interior and it doesn’t work in order to release.
First step we need to take is admitting, admitting to ourselves, there is something that needs to be addressed in order to feel happier and enjoy the emotional abundance you lack at this point. This is not the easiest step because it also has its roots in dependency on gender and race, as well religion.
If you are taught that showing emotions is a sign of weakness, tears are for girls not for boys, you need to have a grip on yourself, to mention a few, this is already a challenge. Because we don’t wanna be a failure in the eyes of those we love or depend on for love. It all comes down to being afraid or brave enough, have the guts and the courage to admit to yourself, there is an issue preventing you from feeling happy and loved.
Actually the theme admittance is something you easily can write a whole chapter about, cause it is so ingrained within our societies, and gender and race are such a major influence on it as well. Yet for argument sake, lets assume we have taken the first hurdle.. admitting to ourselves we need to change something within our self. The moment we reach this point, which almost feels like surrender, we have to take the next step in order to heal our emotional issues and fears.
To take the next step in this journey, there needs to the willingness to acknowledge what it is that is preventing you from being your natural self. By admitting to yourself there is something off, or “wrong” with you, there are also layers of condemning and judging issues at hand. These are imprinted messages most of the time by someone with authority over you and you are depending on for recognition and love.
The moment we start internalizing these messages we start believing them to be true. Yet when we are admitting to ourselves there is this deeply felt negative sense of behavior we can start acknowledging most of it isn’t our fault or by wrong doing. Most of them are connected with ignorance and disrespect for boundaries when it comes to cruelty or bad judging.
When you are ready to acknowledge the fact the experience has caused insecurity and lack of self worth and self love, there will be a shift within the heart center as well. Lack of love is being manifested through fear. Every emotional wound that has been inflicted at one point in life, has damaged the ability to love without any hesitation. The deeper the wound, the deeper the layers that are closing it off from its original first encounter that created the wound.
By this time we know we have to adress the issue at hand. In order to create change we need to address the emotion that is blocking or the physical blockage that is caused by it. If we are not able to address and pinpoint the connected fear and emotion, either guilt, or sorrow, pain or shame, then there is no movement. To keep the process of healing going, there needs to be motion. For stuck energy is nothing less or more then blocked energy caused by emotional, physical and mental wounds.
So in order to proceed, it is necessary to admit the cause, to acknowledge the impact it had and to address the key root of the wound. At this point it is getting clearer what needs to be done in order to make the next step in this journey and healing process. Because by addressing the issue, the emotions will stir and the fear will be felt more profoundly. There you stand on this crossroad and you will have to make a conscious decision, moving forward or remain where you are, either way.. you choose what your next step will be. With this choice you can get stuck in the emotional rut, or you can allow the proces to proceed.
This could well be the biggest challenge you come across. The choice you made to proceed in the healing proces implied you allow the emotions and fears to come to surface. All these emotions you have been hiding for so long and put away out of plane side. The one thing you might fear the most, is losing control and be overswept by all these upcoming issues and emotions. Sometimes it is easy to allow the sorrow by allowing yourself to cry, or shout, or be angry, other times, the intensity of the emotions might even scare you.
Then you will have the tendency to hold within these emotions, just to find yourself at step 1,2 and 3 again. Allowing will bring in not just the negative emotions, it also creates space to bring in love. For lack of love is being manifested in fear, and the minute you address your fears, you are facing then next step, allowing the proces to unfold. You don’t have to rush into this release, you can take it one step at a time. Make these steps as simple as possible, so you will be able to address the issue. Then you are ready for the final phase in this proces, you are getting ready to accept the fears and what is needed to release.
So what is acceptance? Actually it is nothing less than to accept those experiences causing emotions of loss, sorrow, pain, guilt, shame, anxiety as being part of you, to bring in the counterpart of them. Before you can feel you are worthy, before you can feel you are loved, before you can feel you are not to blame, or had no control at a certain point in time, you can only accept this is part of the journey and it is up to you to create a change. No one else can do this for you. Can you accept the fact you could not measure up to the expactations, not just those of the outside world, yet also your own.
Are you willing to accept that every denial is also part of judgement thinking, in a dualistic way, creating distance and hierarchy. Can you accept your own internal judge and jury, in order to bring in the integrity and truth, along with love, compassion and kindness towards your self, if and when you are being harsh on yourself? Or judging not just on someone else, especially towards your self.
With acceptance comes love and compassion, learning tools as kindness and being gentle towards your self. The tools you need in order to heal again every particle that has been hurt along the way and created a negative input on your own self love and self worth. Basically this is the route we can take, if we want to address the issues that are preventing us from being proud and standing tall, with self worth and most importantly self love again, for that is your unique signature, your own unique being.
And so it will be done.
High Self @RheaDopmeijer (c)
Heartfelt Messages 18-10-2015