Eckhart Tolle- presence in conversation..............

[Angel~a]

An amazing author!

Eckhart Talks About Presence in
Conversation



a message from Eckhart Tolle

Monday, 9 August,
2010

Question:
How do I maintain a sense of presence when I’m in the company of another
person? How do I bring presence into conversation?

Eckhart: It’s not easy. The moment you start
talking, the two minds come together and so they strengthen each other. A
flow starts, a stream of thought. A moment ago you were present, and then
somebody starts talking. What applies here is the loss of space during
the conversation. Both participants of the conversation have lost any
sense of space. There are only the words, the mind, the verbalization,
the stream of thinking that becomes sounds. They are taken over by
that. It has its own momentum – almost a little entity, a stream, that
doesn’t want to end.

Often, it generates emotions in the body. That strengthens it,
amplifies it. If the mental stream triggers emotions, which it often
does, especially when talking about other people, what they did, failed to do,
did to you, did to others, criticisms, gossip, all kinds of emotional [things],
the ego comes in. When you can criticize another, the ego feels a little
bit stronger. By diminishing another, in the delusional system of the
ego, you have enhanced your own self-image a little bit. Any criticism of
another is a part of that energy stream. And then emotions come, and they
amplify the thoughts. It’s the loss of space.

For you to regain space, without saying “I’m not talking anymore”, one thing is
necessary for you – which is the realization that you’ve lost
space. Without that, there’s nothing you can do – when you’re so
taken over by a stream of thought, that you don’t even know you’ve been taken
over by a stream of thought – there’s nothing you can do. “Forgive them,
for they know not what they do”. They are unconscious. They are the
stream of thought. And as the stream of thought, you don’t want it to end
– because you don’t want your own end. Every entity wants to remain in
form for as long as possible.

If there’s the slightest realization that you’ve lost [space], at that moment
you have a choice. What is your choice? Your choice is to bring
some presence, some space, into the stream of thought. But how do you do
that?

It’s coming at you not only from within your own mind, but it’s coming at you
from the other person too. The awareness is there, and it may only last
three seconds, and then it’s gone again. So you have to use those two or
three seconds, where you realize the loss of space, and do something in that
space where you have some freedom to act. By a conscious choice, you take
your attention out of thinking – but you have to anchor it somewhere else,
otherwise it won’t work. So you choose your breath, or your body, or some
other sense perception around you that you become aware of. When you are
actually talking to another person, it’s probably easiest to either use your
breath or your inner body.

Practice this beforehand, when conditions are easier, so that you can do it
once it’s necessary. Go into your inner body, feel that your energy field
is alive. And you’ll notice, you’re not thinking anymore. You can
still listen. The amazing thing is that you can listen to another person,
without thinking, easily, beautifully.

You are listening, but part of your attention is on your energy field – so
you’ve taken attention away from your thoughts. There is a sense of
aliveness in the background.
It’s ultimately formless; it’s already the doorway into the formless.
Feel that while you sit there and listen, and you’ve stepped out of the stream
of thinking. Then, the quality of the interaction immediately
changes. The other person may not consciously notice what’s happening,
and may carry on for a while. It also does not mean that you cannot
respond anymore. But how you respond and the quality of your response
changes, too. You are no longer contributing to the negative nature,
which is often the case, in conversations.

A certain amount of stillness, then, will also be a part of the words that you
speak. It’s so subtle that the other person probably will not notice it,
consciously. So hang on to the inner body, let it be the anchor, and then
you become present. If you lose it again, if the other person says
something challenging, then after a little while you remember – and you go back
into the inner body. That’s a powerful anchor, and then everything
changes from there. It takes continuous practice.

© copyright
2008-2010. Eckhart Tolle . All rights reserved.

http://www.eckharttolle.com/

[moonglow482004]

Wonderful piece ty i will refer to it often.

[Sunspiritsmiles]

Indeed...STAY IN THE MOMENT... Thanks for the reminder.

[Renate B.H. Twil]

This is so important to remember and practice. It is so easy to get drawn into negative criticism and conversation. Thank you. Love & Light

[Ishema, Carol Suchecki]

Comment This is such helpful information! I've never known how to stay in the moment with my own presence when a dominant person takes over the conversation.

This gives me a tool and I can't wait to try it!

Carol