Grandmothers Message: The First Step Belongs to Women

[Myriel RAouine]

 

Grandmothers Message: The First Step Belongs to Women

A man who works in the prison system spoke at our last Gathering of
the Grandmothers, saying he hoped women would be able to call up the
power of yin and stand steady with rough men like the ones he works
with. He said they're so dominated by the unbalanced energy of yang
that they're unable to help themselves and pleaded with us to stand in
our power and not turn away from, but 'be there' when that sharp,
sometimes frightening energy of yang seems to lash out. He touched us
deeply. "The Grandmothers are right," he said. "The first step must be
taken by women." His plea for these wounded, often frightening men has laid on my heart since then, puzzling and haunting me.

His words came back to me yesterday when I saw the anguish on my
friend, Alice's, face as she talked about her husband verbally
attacking her. And as I listened, I felt the attack she was
describing, felt the thrust of yang energy coming at me. I have been
on the receiving end of this sort of aggression too and have observed
this intensity, not only in men, but in women-including myself. As I
mulled all of this over, I realized this wasn't a problem I could
handle. I would go to the Grandmothers.

When I asked what to do about this issue of yang aggression--how to
respond to it, they smiled knowingly and said, "Women and men have
real difficulty understanding each other." "How can we deal with this
when it comes at us?" I asked again. "We often feel under attack."
They nodded, but said nothing.

I waited and soon I saw a movement and recognized the sharp energy of
yang. When it seemed to thrust itself at me, I cried out. But as yang
hurtled like a spear, the energy of yin within me expanded around it
to contain it. Holding everything steady, yin then flowed slightly off
to one side and took me with it. This tiny movement prevented the
energy from hitting me squarely in the heart. The thrust glanced off
instead, its momentum slowed. The interaction of yin and yang
continued however, and it wasn't long before they began to dance
together. I was amazed by this but then remembered how at the last
Gathering of the Grandmothers, Sandra de Graaf showed us how to move,
not just in opposition to, but with the energies of yin and yang. The
dancing I was seeing reminded me of that.

"When you yourself lead with the energy of yang, thrusting forward in
a missile-like movement," the Grandmothers said, interrupting my train
of thought, " you need the same reception you just experienced the
energy of yin giving to yang." "Yes, Grandmothers," I said. " You're
right. When I'm charged up and full of yang I do want to express
myself and be received. I don't want confrontation or for people to
turn away from me. And though when I'm like that I might need to be
blunted or offset a bit so I can play with the person, I don't want to
be rejected because I'm coming on too strong. Actually what I really
want at a time like that," I said as I thought it over, "is to dance
with someone. I too want to enjoy the exchange."

"Grandmothers," I said and looked hard at them, "are you teaching me
that when men thrust themselves at us in that aggressive way they're
not trying to annihilate us?" "They're not trying to annihilate you,"
they laughed, "because if they did that, they'd have no one to play
with.

"This forward thrust of power is how yang moves," they explained,
regarding me with bemused looks. "You need to understand the ways of
yang because men are mostly yang. This is their way," they said. "It's
very different from your way."

"I get that, Grandmothers," I said, and then they showed me women
standing together and pointed out the patterns of connection they
formed. I could see a lot of exchanging taking place, and this sharing
occurred on many levels, (within each woman as well as between
different women). And all of it was happening at the same time.
"Connect/exchange, connect/exchange," I chanted as I watched the women
relate. It seemed so natural to them --like breathing.

With men I didn't see this sort of connecting. Instead, there was that
forward thrusting movement. Yang shot out. I watched energy fly
forward and observed men's pleasure as they expressed themselves like
this. They gave it and received it. Yang offered them an opportunity
to play and they bantered, joked, and horsed around, pushing and
pulling one another. "It's a yang-dance," I said. "They're like the
football players on T.V. who smack and punch each other. Yang, yang,
yang, yang," I sang as I watched.

"Expect men to be different from you," the Grandmothers said. "Observe
them, don't judge them. And assume that their energy will often thrust
forward at you. Pow!" they shouted, punching their fists at me while I
jumped. "Open and receive," they said, laughing at my reaction.

"Assume that men will act out the energy of yang like this because
they will," they said. "We ask you to move into yin and from this
position of power open to receive the energy of yang. We also
encourage you to sidestep it. Do this until you become so powerful
that you no longer need to sidestep. We promise you that at some point
you will be able to simply contain this energy of yang, unperturbed by
how it rushes at you. But until that time," they said, smiling,
"sidestep.

"Men are your greatest challenge," they said, "because men are 'the
other. Their nature is unlike yours. Some of you, it is true, have
learned to act like men," they said. "Your culture encourages this.
But your nature is not fooled by your actions. Your heart is not
fooled either," they said, with a knowing look.

"We ask you to teach others what we are telling you now," the
Grandmothers said, "and share your experiences of 'the other.' As you
learn from one another you will become aware of the play of yin and
yang and will be able to observe with a disinterested air what you may
have previously seen as a yang attack. It is important to remember
that what seems to be the aggressive behavior of yang energy is not
caused by you. It has, in fact, nothing to do with you," they said.
"What you see is simply the nature of yang.

"Men's aggression often feels bad to you because to express like this
is not your way," they said. "But for the most part, the thrusting,
aggressive energy of yang that comes at you is, as you say, only a
little out of line. Most of what you observe is just yang.

"Yang can feel like an attack," they explained and turning their heads
to look me in the eyes, the Grandmothers said, "and sometimes it is.
You need to be aware of this too. In some men energy has become
unbalanced. This unbalanced, renegade energy of yang has done great
damage and continues to do damage," they said. "Some men and a few
women too have become so dominated by unbalanced yang that they commit
horrendous acts against life.

"We ask you to step into the steadiness of the position of the
container that holds whatever comes to it (see Container Meditation,
chapter 2, Our Love Is Our Power). "Hold that position and then
sidestep the energy of yang. If the thrusting energy coming at you is
truly dangerous, you will feel and know it in your body and will
completely sidestep it. You are not the target. No matter what anyone
may tell you," the Grandmothers said, "the expression of yang energy
(whether balanced or unbalanced) has nothing to do with you. You
needn't take delivery. You can 'hold' from your powerful position as
the container, but don't take delivery."

"Grandmothers," I said, "I don't get it and right now I can feel that
sickening energy Alice talked about that came at her. It's awful.
"Yes. Your body doesn't lie," the Grandmothers replied, regarding me
with sober faces. "Simply hold your place as the container," they
said. "Hold the position of wisdom and observation. Then when
something like this comes at you and seeks to hurt you, you will
automatically turn away from it. You will feel the difference in your
body between the simple thrusting of yang and the destructive energy
of unbalanced yang. Your body will teach you," they said.

"Teach me a little more, Grandmothers," I said. "I'm not sure I'm
really getting it." After this, there was a moment of silence and then
I watched a missile of yang come flying toward Alice. However, because
she was standing in her power, because she was the container, she saw
it coming. She did not take delivery. As the container, she held the
position of greatness. The barbs and put-downs coming her way were
nothing to her. Energy flew at her like an arrow, but missed as she
sidestepped it. I watched it bump the wall and slide down.
Ineffective.

"When the energy of yang becomes too aggressive, too sharp and
damaging," I said as I continued to watch, "the container becomes so
huge, it's global." As I spoke, the container that was Alice expanded
until it held everything. "It's almost like the container becomes so
great, so connected to the Fabric of Being of life, that this thing
that's hurling itself at the person becomes nothing," I marveled.

"So you don't get down in the dirt with the attacker and play dirty,"
I said to the Grandmothers. "If you can dance with yang, you dance
with it. But if yang is not an invitation to dance but is rather a
heat-seeking missile, you expand into this great oneness, expand into
the container that holds all life and this energy that's coming at you
becomes a mini, mini, mini flea on the biggest elephant that ever
lived. And," I continued, "your body will know the difference. It will
tell you when to merge into this great space and let the little
personality stuff drop off. Also," I said, trying not to miss
anything, "when you don't react to the renegade energy of yang but
instead move into this greater identity, the unbalanced energy can't
feed on you. It becomes less.

"Grandmothers, I said, "Do I have it? "Yes," they replied, "but there
is more. Much more. This, however, is enough for now."

Sharon's note: More teachings will follow on the relationship of women
and men.



Wishing you all the very best,

Sharon McErlane
The Grandmothers
email: gmothers@...
phone: [phone]
web: http://www.grandmothersspeak.com

[Myriel RAouine]

[Joni]

sonja my sweet sister of lite ...that explanation of yin and yang is completely awesome...thank you for bringing it here :)