Overcoaching....

[Dr. SohiniBen Shukla]

Ceremony allows a person to remember who they really are 

We learn as we go. From our beginnings, the creation of The Intenders has been an organic process. Since we all believed that it was important to have a strong foundation before we put the walls and roof on a house, we have tested the principles set out in our teachings over and over in our Intenders Circles, and we have not hesitated to adjust or change something if it wasn't working for us.

In Part One of The Intenders Handbook we talk about "What you say is what you get," and, of course, that is true and very literal. How we approach this piece of information in our Intenders Circles, however, has shifted dramatically.

In the early years of The Intenders, we used to interrupt whoever was saying their intentions anytime they'd say "I'll try," or "hopefully," or one of the other self-sabotaging words or phrases we talk about in The Handbook.

We don't do that anymore (with the occasional exception of casually clearing our throat when an experienced Intender continually uses one of these disempowering words), and here's why. First of all, it slowed down the rhythm and flow of our Intenders Circle. When we "overcoached" or corrected people all the time, our Circles tended to go on too late into the evening, and people began to get fidgety.

Second, over time we realized that people, especially newcomers, didn't want to be corrected on every little thing they were saying. We had several friends who were very interested in what we were doing, but our overcoaching seemed to frustrate them and they didn't come back to our Circle. Obviously, the way we were doing things was having the exact opposite effect from what we were looking to achieve.

And third, after we stopped being so persnickety about the exact wording in our Circles and allowed people to continue on with their intentions without interruption, we found that they started correcting themselves! With a little practice (and the help of the "Newcomer Sheet" which we'd photocopied from The Intenders Handbook and given out at our Circles), we discovered that as our new Intenders began to get comfortable within the supportive atmosphere of the Circle, they also gradually refined their own speaking habits and eliminated the words that weren't serving them. We didn't have to say a thing!

So, nowadays, we don't correct anybody unless they specifically ask for it. We let them state their intentions and gratitudes without our interference - and now everything is a lot more fun. 
So be it and so it is.

My Intention for today is:

I intend that I am setting an example for others simply by being more aware of what I am saying.