The Upper Desire

[Ms Tercy Lonan]

THE UPPER DESIRE
We have reached the moment of birth of “the human
within.” A new “human” desire has been born within us.
Let us take our time and carefully examine this desire and
all that it entails.
To this end, we will turn to the ancient oral source that
complements the Pentateuch. It is called the Midrash (the
Oral Torah). It has been passed down orally from teacher
to student for thousands of years. It has reached our time


alongside the Old Testament, and is no less revered than its
written counterpart.
The following text is taken from the Midrash on the
creation of man: “When the Holy One, blessed be He, came
to create Adam, the ministering angels formed themselves
into groups and parties, some of them saying, ‘Let him be
created,’ whilst others urged, ‘Let him not be created.’
“Love said, ‘Let him be created, because he will dispense
acts of love.’ Truth said, ‘Let him not be created, because he
is compounded of falsehood.’ Righteousness said, ‘Let him
be created, because he will perform righteous deeds.’ Peace
said, ‘Let him not be created, because he is full of strife’…
“The ministering angels said to the Lord: ‘Sovereign of
the Universe! What is man, that You are mindful of him,
and the son of man, that You think of him? This trouble, for
what has it been created?’
“‘If so,’ He said to them, ‘Sheep and oxen, all of them,
why; why were the fowl of the air and the fish of the sea
created? A tower full of good things and no guests—what
pleasure has its owner in having filled it?’”
What is the meaning of this passage, which details
the Creator’s “conversation” with the “angels”? First and
foremost, who is the Creator? The Creator is the unified Law
of Nature, the Law of Love and bestowal, present within us
and all around us. He is immutable and eternal. We don’t
perceive Him because we live by completely different laws,
but the whole purpose of our lives is to reveal Him.
The “angels” are nature’s (the Creator’s) forces, which
obey the Law and are unable to act or think independently.
You could say that the angels simply personify the forces
that serve the Law of Love and bestowal.
The Secrets of the Eternal Book

Keep in mind that the Midrash speaks of what has been
revealed by the Kabbalists—those who have commenced
the correction and discovered the force of bestowal, the
Creator.
Naturally, the opposing forces begin to manifest, personifying
human nature, which is wholly egoistic and evil.
Imagine flicking on a flashlight in total darkness. As it
illuminates your surroundings, you discover that you’ve
been sitting in a cesspool all this time. At first, it may seem
as if you would have been better to remain in the dark, but
that is not the case. At least now you know the source of the
stench, and why you’ve been so miserable. Our task is to
clean up the cesspool, to rein in our egoism. How? That is
precisely what the Midrash explains.
It tells us that man is seemingly “suspended” between
two opposite forces, existing at a point halfway between
good and evil. He balances between them, and these forces
act within him. As we often say, “I am between heaven
and earth.”
So then, within us are forces (“angels”) in balance with
Nature that speak out “for man’s creation” (within us). Then
there are “angels” not in balance with Nature that are against
man’s creation. They “know in advance” that man will use
them for evil, harming himself and the whole world. That
said, keep in mind that all these forces—the angels who speak
for and against—are the Creator’s forces. All this hullabaloo
was conceived by the Creator for a single purpose: so we
would independently choose the side we’re on.
Man is born an egoist. From the very beginning, he is
mired in imbalance and prefers falsehood to truth. This
is why the quality of truth, called “the Creator’s seal,”


objects to man’s creation. This is for his own good—to
prevent him from suffering, since he is not balanced with
the general law.
“Truth said, ‘Let him not be created, because he is
compounded of falsehood.’ Righteousness said, ‘Let him be
created, because he will perform righteous deeds.’”
Precisely because man is an egoist, he will have the
opportunity to realize this, and then to show mercy. Thanks
to his good deeds he’ll be able to realize what is good, so that
afterward he can acquire the quality of bestowal and correct
himself. It is as if this “angel” says, “All of man’s qualities will
be corrected because I exist within him, so don’t worry.”
But there is also the “angel of peace.”
“Peace said, ‘Let him not be created, because he is full
of strife.’” He protests because man is opposite to peace.
He lives for himself and his only thought is to possess
everything. And if everybody only wants to receive for
themselves, shamelessly taking advantage of others, what
kind of peace could there be?
Man is aggressive, delights in the misery of others, strives
to harm others, and longs to hoard more than necessary for
his existence. The evil qualities in him elevate him above the
animate degree, but while the animate degree is in harmony
with Nature, man is not!
The lion and the cow take from their environment only
what they need for their sustenance, but man does not.
Nature dictates this behavior in animals, but not in man.
There is not a single quality in man that he uses to achieve
peace. The notion of peace means the following: I take only
what I need to survive; the rest does not belong to me.


He is born with a grotesque desire to rule and dominate
the whole world to suit his needs, which is contrary to
Nature’s quality of bestowal. This is why the angel of peace
speaks so vehemently against man’s creation, for he brings
only discord and war to the world.
And, indeed, we see that the history of humankind is
a procession of wars. If man were to grow cognizant of
his essence, he would realize that all he thinks of is how
to use others for his own benefit. This is what we mean
by “war”: perpetual takeover of another’s territory, i.e., the
enslavement of another’s “I” by my own.
The whole progress of humankind throughout millennia
amounts to the development of weapons of mass destruction.
Man sought ways to rule, profit, and use his strengths by
elevating himself over others. This is why the angel of peace
is right in saying that man is all discord. Not one of his
inclinations is directed toward achieving balance with his
environment, which would allow him to give others their
due. Instead, man strives to acquire and control everything
that belongs to others.
The Midrash states that in this form, man shouldn’t even
come into the world. The reason is clear: the Midrash is
an instruction that “lives” within man, but he resists it and
doesn’t want to live according to its instruction. Therefore,
the angels that oppose man’s creation are initially correct.
Given the circumstances, man should not be created, for he
is opposite to all of Nature.
However, when man uses his powers correctly and
achieves correction, he becomes king over Nature and the
world, the whole process becomes purposeful, and man
becomes equal to the Creator.


It was already mentioned that the Creator is the allencompassing
law of Nature, which includes all the “angels,”
namely forces and particular laws. The Creator says to
them, “Nevertheless, I am for creating man, despite his
flaws, because I see that through this process he will obtain
a spiritual degree. That is what I need from him. He will
correct himself. He will rid himself of his ego and come to
Me. And when he does, it will be of his own accord, not as
a slave to My Light. This is very important.”
Thus, the Creator doesn’t mind the initial state of
Creation and all the states we go through. He already sees
us in the final state, which is the reason for our existence.
The struggle described in the Midrash is ever-present
within man. With every step, at every moment in life,
man works to establish this balance, and thereby brings
balance to the whole world. He cannot stand still, for every
state compels him to act, and he chooses his path with
each step. Every second, man must connect to the goal of
Creation, scrutinizing why the Creator had chosen to make
him, despite all the forces and qualities that opposed his
creation. Indeed, the goal of man’s work lies in justifying
his own creation.
This is what happens in every one of us; we only need to
be sensitive to it.