Back To Adam

[Ms Tercy Lonan]

BACK TO ADAM
Let us now return to the First Man, to Adam, that desire
which we feel within. When the Creator exiled him from
the Garden of Eden, the “human in us” (Adam) stopped
being a child and began to mature.
The maturation process is a period when we know we
must correct our egoism, for we cannot live with it or to
simply suppress it.
There is no immediate correction, as the “serpent”
suggested. Instead, man must descend all the way down
until he feels the full span of his ego and begs the Creator
for help, realizing that he’s powerless to deal with it on
his own.
“And the man knew Eve his wife; and she conceived and
bore Cain, and said: ‘I have gotten a man with the help of
the Lord.’ And again she bore his brother Abel. And Abel
was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.”
This is the beginning of the descent. We see how a great
egoistic desire that man could not deal with began to split
into pieces. (There is a breaking whereby sparks fly into
our world, where they receive egoistic shells—bodies. I will
reiterate here that we’re talking about our work with the
egoistic desires exclusively, and not about specific people.)
“And the man knew Eve his wife.” This means the
altruistic and egoistic desires merged in man. The result was
a merging, or “giving birth,” to two desires: Cain and Abel.


One desire, Abel, gravitates toward bestowal, toward
the Creator. This is why it is written that he doesn’t till the
ground, but “keeps sheep.” He can be the “guide” and lead
the way to fertile pastures. Whom does he lead there? Man’s
egoistic desires, which are ready to follow him, foretasting
the future pleasures. It is precisely these desires that are
called “sheep.”
The desire called “Abel” is also called the “right line.”
The right line is an altruistic desire, an aspiration for the
Creator without a trace of egoism. This desire is sent down
to us from above, like an outstretched hand or a lowered
ladder that we can climb to the Goal.
The desire called “Cain” is the left line. This is the exact
opposite—an egoistic desire and an aspiration to use the
bond with the Creator for one’s own fulfillment.
In the story about Cain and Abel, the distancing from
the Creator is not yet complete. That is, there is no situation
such as in our world, where the Creator is absolutely
concealed, the mind contends that it’s all a sham, and that
man ought to live only for himself.
Here we have a different picture. We are in a dialogue
with the Creator: He is felt and the spiritual world is near,
but the desires are different.
Abel has pure desires, the desire to bestow, to receive
pleasure from delighting the Creator. It would appear that
Cain also has the desire to bestow, but in his case he strives
to win the Creator’s favor, to merit His attention, to acquire
the spiritual world. He wants to receive all the Light and the
infinite pleasure it contains, but only for himself.
Cain represents the left line, which “tills the ground.”
This means that our desire named Cain is always working


with the ego. If Cain doesn’t master the ego, the ego masters
Cain. That is what’s referred to in the following passage:
“And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain
brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the Lord.
And Abel also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of
the fat thereof. And the Lord had respect unto Abel and
to his offering; but unto Cain and to his offering He had
no respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance
fell. And the Lord said unto Cain: ‘Why are you wroth? and
why is your countenance fallen? If you do well, shall it not
be lifted up? and if you do not do well, sin crouches at the
door; and unto you is its desire, but you may rule over it.’”
“…but you may rule over it,” such is the call of Nature.
You must work on your egoistic desires, rather than
suppress or try to eliminate them because not receiving
isn’t an option for you. This is how you were created.
You are required to ascend above them, to use them, to
master your egoistic desires, i.e., to receive pleasure from
delighting the Creator.
That is the state at which man must ultimately arrive.
Therein lies the purpose of man’s creation. Otherwise his
ego will rule over him, and the result of its reign will be all
the things humanity is afflicted with today: war, death, and
tragedies.
That is what became of Cain.
“And Cain spoke unto Abel his brother. And it came to
pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against
Abel his brother, and slew him.”
What does the fratricide mean here? It means that the
left line suppresses the right. In other words, the egoistic
line asserts the following, “I’m the only one that’s useful


around here; I act, I harvest, I till the land, and I should be
the one to be rewarded for all this.”
Makes sense, doesn’t it? Sure, but it is this sensible
approach that “kills” the right line, which claims that the
only way is pure bestowal and absolute equivalence with the
Creator. Here, the only permissible state is to delight Him
without any concern of reward.
So what is the Creator’s verdict?
“When you till the ground, it shall not henceforth yield
unto you her strength; a fugitive and a wanderer shall you
be in the earth.”
The strength of the earth, the desire, lies precisely in
the combination of the right and left lines, in finding “the
golden mean,” where man delights in reception only when
he thus bestows upon another. This is the only way we can
remain in infinite bliss.
But if this combination doesn’t take place, i.e., if “Abel
is killed,” the earth cannot yield strength, but actually
drains it, as all the efforts you made become labor for your
own ego, for the left line, for Cain. The ego can never be
satiated. This is why it is written, “a fugitive and a wanderer
shall you be in the earth,” that is, you will be trying to find
happiness in vain.
“Behold, You have driven me out this day from the face
of the land; and from Your face shall I hide; and I shall be
a fugitive and a wanderer in the earth; and it will come to
pass, that whosoever finds me will slay me.”
As already mentioned, killing or suppressing the
ego is impossible. It lives forever, growing, passing from


generation to generation, and losing touch with the
Creator all the while.
It is therefore written: “And the Lord said unto him:
‘Therefore whosoever slays Cain, vengeance shall be taken
on him sevenfold.’ And the Lord set a sign for Cain, lest any
finding him should smite him.”
This moment marks the beginning of the story of
humankind, the process in which your soul descends from
the Creator to our world. The soul itself does not change
throughout the process, but simply dons egoistic garments
that conceal it, dampening its voice, its eternal bond with the
Creator. Thus it transforms from the single, unified heart of
Adam into myriad points of an infinite number of people.
The Creator always remains connected to the soul in
the part we call the “point in the heart.” This is why there
ultimately comes a time when you “hear” His voice once
more, sensing a feeble luminescence bursting through the
filters and barriers. That’s when you begin to aspire to
return to the spiritual world, to the Creator, longing for the
Garden of Eden.
“And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bore
Enoch; and he built a city, and called the name of the city
after the name of his son Enoch. And unto Enoch was
born Irad; and Irad begot Mehujael; and Mehujael begot
Methushael; and Methushael begot Lamech.”
And so on, and so forth… Humanity begins to procreate,
its numbers are growing, but you already know that all these
“people” are really your egoistic desires. It is your mission to
correct them, whereupon you will return once more to the
one soul of Adam, having joined with it into a single whole.

So why was the great egoistic desire (the serpent and Cain)
shattered into myriad tiny, egoistic desires? It happened
because it’s easier to correct myriad tiny desires than one
great desire. By correcting them, we reassemble the one great
desire and restore the one soul in the Garden of Eden.
There is an old parable of a king who wished to send a
great fortune to his son in another kingdom. This presented
the king with a dilemma: he knew his people were all thieves
and there wasn’t anyone in the whole kingdom he could
trust with so much wealth.
So after giving the matter some thought, he found a way.
The king exchanged all of his fortune into coins of minor
value, dispersed them among his subjects, and tasked them
with delivering them to his son in the neighboring kingdom.
Naturally, the people couldn’t be bothered with pocketing
such a small sum; it was more important to showcase their
loyalty and obedience to the king. Every one of them
fulfilled his duty with honor, and the entire fortune reached
its destination.
Reflect on this story; it holds a great deal of meaning,
which could help you draw the right conclusion from all we
discussed in this chapter.