I was asked today how we can support those around us who are going through a difficult time… and this is pretty much everyone, let’s face it. We are starting a period of deep personal and social transformation.
I think that one of the key elements here is acceptance of what is.
We must let go of this belief that there are some «negative» emotions to be avoided, and some «positive» emotions to run after. Emotions are emotions. They are neutral in nature. Agreed, some are much more challenging to go through then others. But the truth is that most of the time, we are the ones creating this inner struggle by refusing these emotions to pass through us. We try to block them, to deny them, to ignore them, to hide them… but there is no way around it and by fighting them, we are actually fighting ourselves. When we finally do find a way to let them surface in a trustful and loving environment, we realize that they do not define us. They were just passing by and we were the ones choosing to keep them within by blocking their natural flow.
So when it comes down to supporting others and ourselves, we shouldn’t try to keep people from going through their difficult emotions. This emotional surfacing is a necessary cleansing process. The reason why many people are currently having a difficult time is because we weren’t necessarily taught to healthily live our emotions, which inevitably leads to a very painful emotional build-up.
The energy waves that we are getting from the recent planetary movements are shaking our foundations. Everything that was suppressed is forced to the surface to be released. Granted, this is challenging, but there is no way around it. There is no illumination unless we do the inner spiritual work.
So, how can we help ourselves and others through these times?
- Accept that difficult emotions must surface in order to be released. Give yourself and others the right to live those emotions.
- Protect yourself: because there is a lot a difficult emotions surfacing right now, protection is the key word. Do not feel obligated to help or to listen if you feel that your cup is already full. We are only able to help when our energy level is at its best. You aren’t helping anyone if you drain yourself. If you don’t feel in a position where you can offer support, clearly say so. Avoid confusion.
- Learn to really listen. Avoid trying to «fix» others, to give them advices, solutions or opinions. Be present, and listen. This is all that is really needed. If people do seek advice, help them refocus on their own intuition and their own inner guidance. Guide them to share how they experience what they are going through, and not the actual stories: the details and the facts are, for the most part, irrelevant. The most important thing is how the person experiences these events, how the person feels: this is where healing takes place. Don’t get cut in the melodrama of day-to-day life. Let go of the stories and focus on how there are experienced and felt. (That being said, we must always use judgement and discernment when listening to others. We should never allow someone who seemed to be in such pain that it is threatening to their health, their life, or the people around them to stay alone.)
- Offer support, but do not impose it. This one may seem obvious, but it’s not that easy to do. We often feel discomfort when watching our loved ones struggle. We may believe that we have the solution that would «benefit» them. But everyone has their own struggles, their own life experiences, their own understanding of things which is different from ours and mostly, everyone has their own inner voice, their own intuition. Therefore deal with your own discomfort. If difficult emotions in others scare you, how can you really embrace people and accept what they are going through? Offering support also means supporting yourself. Eventually, as you learn to embrace your own fear of your difficult emotions, witnessing them in others will stop scarring you.
- Remember that the number one priority on the list of who you are offering support to is… yourself. Unless this is your starting point, you will have very little to offer to others.
- Connect! There is a lot of healing and comfort in the simple power of connection. We suddenly realize that we are not alone… That everyone, no exception and no matter what their story is, has to go through to the same range of emotions throughout their life. Therefore, everyone has the power of helping everyone else: be present and listen. You do not need to understand the person. You do not need to agree or disagree. All you need to do is to connect to that part of yourself that has lived a similar emotion. Not a similar experience! This is about finding common ground on an emotional level. This is what is means to be compassionate. You will suddenly realize that you can understand everyone because emotions are universal… and you will feel your heart open with compassion.
- Share. Open your heart and let yourself be a little vulnerable. Be willing to share your feelings, but don’t take the spotlight on your own stories. Let go of the drama. Stay focus on what’s really important: how you experience life, not the actual details of everything that you are going through. We do find comfort in the fact that we are all the same in essence.
- Share this post or any other that has brought comfort to you: the more we connect and spread the same ideas, the more we tap into the global power of compassion to bring healing into the world. With social medias, everything is now possible and it is through the power of connection that we heal ourselves and others.
In short terms, stay open: to your own emotions and to what life brings your way because we are receiving many opportunities to do profound healing right now…
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