The aspect of myself that I think of as my god-head is an Eagle Man I call Arak (or Ra-Arak), similar to the Sun God Ra. In the beginning of this particular meditation I asked him some questions (back on March 31st).
Who is Arak, really?
"I AM the love that you feel"
"I AM the butterfly that so gently touches your skin"
"I AM the Eye with which you see and the ears with which you hear"
"You may consider me a God, and in human terms of separation this is true, but I AM You. You are a God, and you are the small things, the subtle and sublime."
"I have many names and Arak is the one you have chosen to use for yourself. It is a good choice of many."
"We, all aspects of you, nudge you, communicate with you, and sometimes forcefully guide you on your way. It is not an easy process to awaken a sleeping giant when they have been sleeping for so long. Sometimes this requires pain to surface, sometimes it is so intense that you feel like giving up, but we cannot allow that, you are too close, too much is at stake. If you get to that point, we will (and have) force you to rest, force introspection until you can see the light again. How long the pain lingers, and how intense the pain is, depends only on how strongly you cling to it."
Where does Obsidian fit into this picture (he was sitting here with "us" as I asked this)?
"Obsidian is ominpresent, just like I am, and of course, just like you are. When you focus on a given aspect of yourself, you directly take on those attributes, those energies, those memories. You are a dragon, among other aspects. Obsidian is a beautiful and powerful being, revered in the universe. He is not shy about pushing and pulling you through whatever needs to be moved to gain ascension. For your ascension is his as well, and Gaia's too."
On to the second part of my meditation...
I merged into Obsidian, and within my massive merkaba, I shot through space, to visit a Dragon Hall on Orion, one I have been to before.
I appeared over a beautiful landscape, but also dark and rugged with crystalline spires and large structures here and there.
I went into the enormous "Dragon Hall" and stood before an ancient being Obsidian has introduced as "Grandfather."
He asked what form I would like to see him in, for he is many forms. I said "choose the form that is most suitable right now."
He appeared as an ancient looking dragon. Not old looking, but his horns were extra long, his eyes full of extra wisdom...
I asked him "Why does this have to be so painful as we move toward ascension?"
"You like the drama of being powerful, yet you do not fully believe it either. You hold onto the painful things like they are medals to wear in pride for being a human and having to deal with a bunch of difficult things, but really, those things are not real anyway. Why hang onto them? It's like looking through a childhood drawer with old toys, and you find a pair of plastic pin-on wings, like a pilot wears. Do you wear them in normal everyday adult life? No, because they aren't real to you anymore. The old injuries, fears, and all of that aren't real either. They are memories you can easily let go. So do it. You are so close, so close, we whom are watching are on the edge of our seats as you test your wings, as you start to grok just who you really are. Arak explained that you are gods. He explained that you are vast. It seems hard to believe when you are a human with a head cold, but that is just part of the illusion you are shedding."
Many of us have a strong desire to go home, to be all that I we are, and leave the pain behind, but we have committed to helping Gaia make her transition. How long does this pain of hers need to go on?
"All of you that have made the commitment to aid Gaia as she ascends are helping her greatly, but you have free will and can make a different choice at any time. It is your choice and someone else will take your place if you cannot bear it any longer. However, we encourage you to stay the course, for you are amazing at what you do. It is the most important thing you have ever done in human guise. Not many individuals get to experience what you are experiencing for the betterment of their oneness. Many of you you have the belief that you must wait until Gaia herself transitions before you can be freed yourself. This is part of the illusion. Gaia already has her fifth dimensional body and the subtle bodies around her in yet higher dimensions. The only reason why she "still" has a third dimensional body at all, is because people refuse to leave it. They haven't yet seen the truth and the light of who they are, and so they do not go. Eventually Gaia will shift and her third dimensional body will be left behind as the fourth dimension collapses completely. Do you want to wait around that long?
Let me use a metaphor that our channel has enjoyed."
"You are in an old movie theater. It is dark, dank, and a film is playing on the big screen. A movie that never stops, it just continues looping. A few people in the audience start to notice that the theater interior is adorned with beautiful carvings of angels and cherubs, with golden tapestries that tell stories of love and peace. As they notice these details, they stop paying attention to the movie, and their eyes adjust to the parts of the theater that were once cloaked in darkness. The more they look, the more it seems the theater is being bathed in light, and it is, for the theater operator, you can call him God if you want, has started to raise the house lights, so you can see it even better. Soon, the movie is just a distraction and you are motivated to leave the theater altogether, to go outside into nature and soak in the sunshine, the rich colors which abound. Then you are free, you are ascended by simply walking out the doors to the 'real world.' The more people that get up out of their seat and leave, the more the people around them now notice people leaving, and as they look around, they start to notice the details in the theater as well."
"Do you think that you are doomed to be the last person out of the theater? If Gaia were able to wait, then when that last person finally awakened and left the theater, the projector operator would turn off the film and also leave, never to come back. But if Gaia cannot wait, then she will burn that theater down to ashes, and maybe as it burns, those few remaining will finally see the truth and light. If not, they will perish as physical humans, but the theater will finally be destroyed so only the new can be experienced."
"You can leave the theater any time you want, all you need to do is let the old stuff that doesn't serve you go, and fill yourself with light. That is all. Do what you need to do to make that happen. As you get up out of your seat in the theater, you are doing far more to awaken those around you than you are while sitting around. As you walk out the doors of the theater, you are guiding those still inside to the truth. If you want to go back into the theater after you have left, after you have ascended, you can still be their guide, but you cannot force them to look away from the film."