Many men are lost ...

[Ishema, Carol Suchecki]

Many men are lost ... "Grandmothers," I said, "Women are disgusted by the selfish behavior of so many men.  It's all over the news now -- entertainment, politics, business, everywhere!   They treat women like Kleenex -- use us and throw us away.  They've made it hard for us to trust them and this distrust is creating even more distance between the sexes.  So I ask you, how can we as women take a clear look at men's behavior and still not give up on them? "This is a big order," the Grandmothers said, shaking their heads.  "You are asking a lot of yourself and a lot of us."   "I know," I said, "but, Grandmothers, I wouldn't ask it of you if I knew the answer.  It's gotten to the point where I'm struggling to relate to men with respect.  I love them, I even like most of them, but their behavior as a gender is reprehensible. And they are doing a lot of damage."   "Yes," they said.  "They are lost.  They don't understand how to be men now, what that actually means.  The old patterns of male behavior are no longer working for them and society has not yet moved into new patterns. "Men see their world shrinking and they try to turn back the clock, hoping to return to a more traditional, "manly" way of life.  Both women and men are frightened of what's become of the world they've known and many of both sexes are now contracting in fear.  Because of the way males have been conditioned, they seek to dominate those around them (mainly women) and they lash out at anyone they consider a threat.  Look at what is taking place today with the governments of the world. Dictatorships are sprouting everywhere as so-called "strong men" take a death-hold on power and bully those in their grip. "You are living through a time of change ... great change," they said. "You have not seen the likes of this before.  Change of this magnitude," they emphasized, "will require an entirely new way of living -- for men and for women.   You women must be patient with yourselves and you must be equally patient with men.  If you can remember that they are frightened -- deeply frightened -- you will be able to better deal with them.  You cannot look to them to lead you any more.  They are too lost and afraid to be able to do that.  For now, we suggest you think of them as younger brothers ... lovable, but immature and needing direction.  You, because of the strong presence of Yin within you, will be better able to lead at this time.  So you must get into the habit of dropping into your heart and turning within to listen for the guidance you will need. "Turn within right now," the Grandmothers said.  "You will find us there with you ... holding you and supporting you.  You will not have to do this work all by yourself."    We at Net of Light meet regularly to share the Grandmothers' teachings and learn from one another. For more about this work go to www.netoflight.org.        Wishing you all the very best, Sharon McErlane Net of Light and Grandmothers Speak

The Grandmothers Speak, 483 Linden St., Laguna Beach, CA 9

[Jillian]

Resonates with my experience. Thank you, Grandmothers. 

[Barry Hammer]

I agree that many (not all) men tend to relate to women and other men in psychologically immature, abusive, exploitative, unreliable/unfaithful ways. However, I think that it is not accurate and not productive to stereotype or generalize men and/or women, or people in other categories such as, ethnic, national, religious, and/or socioeconomic class categories. If a woman stereotypes all men, she is just as sexist (unfair, bigoted) as a man who stereotypes all women. Men and women both have the natural ability to be selfish abusive predatory insincere jerks or unselfish compassionate sincere human beings. Men and women both become lost when they veer away from their natural core integrity. If you focus on changing yourself from fear to love, and stop blaming other people for the projection of your own emotional issues, then you will attract the right kind of men and women into your life.

On the other hand, it would be very beneficial and healing for men to adopt a more emotionally/psychologically mature, compassionate, loving, natural sense of masculinity, with a sense of strength coming from courage rather than abusiveness and selfish controlling manipulative exploitation of women and other men. Similarly, it would be very beneficial and healing for women to adopt a more mature sense of femininity, by not letting themselves be either a victim or a victimizer, neither prey nor predator.

"Physician, heal thyself" first, by shifting from fear to love, before, trying to heal or correct others.

For more extensive discussions of what psychologically mature, compassionate, healing, development and functioning involves for individuals, interpersonal relationships, and society, please see the links for my books (co-authored with two other people) and blog articles, below:

PRIMARY AUTHOR: DR. MAX HAMMER (WITH CONTRIBUTIONS FROM DR. BARRY J. HAMMER AND DR. ALAN C. BUTLER)

THE TITLES OF OUR NEW BOOKS ARE:

1. “DEEPENING YOUR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS: DEVELOPING EMOTIONAL INTIMACY AND GOOD COMMUNICATION”   (ISBN: 978-1-61897-590-4)

2. “PSYCHOLOGICAL HEALING THROUGH CREATIVE SELF-UNDERSTANDING AND SELF-TRANSFORMATION.” (ISBN: 978-1-62857-075-5)

THESE BOOKS ARE AVAILABLE  (IN SOFT COVER PRINT AND VARIOUS ELECTRONIC VERSIONS ) THROUGH AMAZON, BARNES AND NOBLE, KOBO, GOOGLE BOOKS, AND THE AUTHOR/PUBLISHER WEBSITE, http://sbprabooks.com/MaxHammer  

This is my author website, where I have posted excerpts of my books, and many related articles:

https://independent.academia.edu/BarryHammer

This is my YouTube channel:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtJDp6DMTNsCeJhRVGWOq1Q/videos?sort=dd&shelf_id=0&view=0

[Barry Hammer]

I agree that many (not all) men tend to relate to women and other men in psychologically immature, abusive, exploitative, unreliable/unfaithful ways. However, I think that it is not accurate and not productive to stereotype or generalize men and/or women, or people in other categories such as, ethnic, national, religious, and/or socioeconomic class categories. If a woman stereotypes all men, she is just as sexist (unfair, bigoted) as a man who stereotypes all women. Men and women both have the natural ability to be selfish abusive predatory insincere jerks or unselfish compassionate sincere human beings. Men and women both become lost when they veer away from their natural core integrity. If you focus on changing yourself from fear to love, and stop blaming other people for the projection of your own emotional issues, then you will attract the right kind of men and women into your life.

On the other hand, it would be very beneficial and healing for men to adopt a more emotionally/psychologically mature, compassionate, loving, natural sense of masculinity, with a sense of strength coming from courage rather than abusiveness and selfish controlling manipulative exploitation of women and other men. Similarly, it would be very beneficial and healing for women to adopt a more mature sense of femininity, by not letting themselves be either a victim or a victimizer, neither prey nor predator.

"Physician, heal thyself" first, by shifting from fear to love, before, trying to heal or correct others.

For more extensive discussions of my view of what psychologically mature, compassionate, healing, development and functioning involves for individuals, interpersonal relationships, and society, please see the links for my books (co-authored with two other people) and blog articles, below:

PRIMARY AUTHOR: DR. MAX HAMMER (WITH CONTRIBUTIONS FROM DR. BARRY J. HAMMER AND DR. ALAN C. BUTLER)

THE TITLES OF OUR NEW BOOKS ARE:

1. “DEEPENING YOUR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS: DEVELOPING EMOTIONAL INTIMACY AND GOOD COMMUNICATION”   (ISBN: 978-1-61897-590-4)

2. “PSYCHOLOGICAL HEALING THROUGH CREATIVE SELF-UNDERSTANDING AND SELF-TRANSFORMATION.” (ISBN: 978-1-62857-075-5)

THESE BOOKS ARE AVAILABLE  (IN SOFT COVER PRINT AND VARIOUS ELECTRONIC VERSIONS ) THROUGH AMAZON, BARNES AND NOBLE, KOBO, GOOGLE BOOKS, AND THE AUTHOR/PUBLISHER WEBSITE, http://sbprabooks.com/MaxHammer  

This is my author website, where I have posted excerpts of my books, and many related articles:

https://independent.academia.edu/BarryHammer

This is my YouTube channel:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtJDp6DMTNsCeJhRVGWOq1Q/videos?sort=dd&shelf_id=0&view=0

[Jillian]

She did say "many (not all)". :) 

Blessings!

[Ishema, Carol Suchecki]

Yes Jillian, it is good to keep in mind that she said many, not all. So much must depend upon where we live. 

Barry, thank you for your contribution in commenting here and in your work at large.

In my experience in Southern California, USA, I see so many men embracing their yin side. They bring lightness, humor and a warm nurturing side to their partnerships. I especially enjoy seeing their playful relationships with their children. It must be wonderful to grow up with such a father.

With gratitude and love,

Ishema

[Jillian]

In my own life, I've learned to reconcile with, and love my own inner masculine.

As part of my awakening, I realized, on a very visceral level, that I do have this masculine side, inside me!

I do not desire to play the "blame game" at all. But I do see a sense of stepping up in my own life, not waiting any longer for the male leadership. Allowing the yin side a voice. And a chance for both the inner female and male to heal from generations of trauma ...... (((( love )))) .........

Thank you, men for having the courage to walk this path with us women, as we all heal together!

[Barry Hammer]

Hi, Jillian, I appreciate and agree with your very insightful and inspiring comment. I especially agree that it is important for women and men to walk the path of healing together.

[Barry Hammer]

Thank you for your thoughtful kind comment, Ishema. My late father really was the kind of psychological mature, warm nurturing, light, good natured father and man that you describe. It was truly wonderful to grow up with him, and he is the primary co-author of the books that I listed in my first comment.

I am hopeful that both men and women will be open to a natural holistic integration of their yin and yang sides, or what Carl Jung referred to as the anima and animus.

[Ishema, Carol Suchecki]

Thank you Barry,

I  am glad you added to the discussion.

You are sowing seeds!

[Barry Hammer]

Thank you Ishema, Carol Suchecki for posting the blog article by

Sharon McErlane

"Net of Light and Grandmothers Speak"

I hope that my earlier critique of that article was not too harsh and one-sided. While I stand by the content (but not necessarily the tone) of my initial comment, I also appreciate that the article by Sharon McErlane contains some valuable true insights and comes from a pure heart of love, compassion, and courage.

[Jillian]

It is time, now, to be who we authentically are. :)